This song has burrowed deep in my soul. The first time I heard it, all I could think of was "what have I become?"
This song couldn't be more perfect for where I am at right now...see the breakdown below:
In my own little world it hardly ever rains This summer MIGHT be the exception!
I've never gone hungry, always felt safe Couldn't be more true.
I got some money in my pocket, shoes on my feet I have SEVERAL choices of shoes to put on my feet and enough money in my pocket to make it. More than a lot of people have.
In my own little world: population -- me Pretty much. ME. ME. ME.
I try to stay awake during Sunday morning church Or try to pay attention.
I throw a twenty in the plate but I never give 'til it hurts SO TRUE.
And I turn off the news when I don't like what I see These days, I don't even turn on the news.
It's easy to do when its population -- me
What if there's a bigger picture? THERE IS A BIGGER PICTURE! I've SEEN IT!
What if I'm missing out? I KNOW I AM!
What if there's a greater purpose? "you are meant for great things, Michala." That does NOT mean great things like a huge closet full of stuff I don't need.
I could be living right now YES!
Outside my own little world PLEASE!
Stopped till the red light, looked out my window
I saw a cardboard sign said, "Help this homeless widow" Remember the lady with no shoes, mom?
And just above that sign was the face of a human
I thought to myself, "God, what have I been doing?" SERIOUSLY! What HAVE I been doing?
So I rolled down the window and I looked her in the eye
Oh, how many times have I just passed her by?
I gave her some money then I drove on through I gave to a homeless man for the first time in a VERY long time the other day. It was only $2 (all I had in my purse) but to him, it made a difference.
And my own little world reached population two Making progress.
What if there's a bigger picture?
What if I'm missing out?
What if there's a greater purpose?
I could be living right now
Outside my own little world, ooh, my own little world, ooh
Father, break my heart for what breaks Yours Lord, I know you have already done this, but my heart has hardened. Break it! I'm SO ready.
Give me open hands and open doors
Put Your light in my eyes and let me see He made the lame walk and the dumb talk
And He opened blinded eyes to see- I've been blind, help me see!!!
That my own little world is not about me
What if there's a bigger picture?
What if I'm missing out?
What if there's a greater purpose?
That I could be living right now
I don't wanna miss what matters This scares me! I don't want to reach the end of my life and realize that I have done nothing but live for myself.
I wanna be reaching out I've known this since 2005.
Show me the greater purpose Show me where I belong.
So I can start living right now I don't want to waste another minute!
Outside my own little world, my own little world, my own little world
I've never gone hungry, always felt safe Couldn't be more true.
I got some money in my pocket, shoes on my feet I have SEVERAL choices of shoes to put on my feet and enough money in my pocket to make it. More than a lot of people have.
In my own little world: population -- me Pretty much. ME. ME. ME.
I try to stay awake during Sunday morning church Or try to pay attention.
I throw a twenty in the plate but I never give 'til it hurts SO TRUE.
And I turn off the news when I don't like what I see These days, I don't even turn on the news.
It's easy to do when its population -- me
What if there's a bigger picture? THERE IS A BIGGER PICTURE! I've SEEN IT!
What if I'm missing out? I KNOW I AM!
What if there's a greater purpose? "you are meant for great things, Michala." That does NOT mean great things like a huge closet full of stuff I don't need.
I could be living right now YES!
Outside my own little world PLEASE!
Stopped till the red light, looked out my window
I saw a cardboard sign said, "Help this homeless widow" Remember the lady with no shoes, mom?
And just above that sign was the face of a human
I thought to myself, "God, what have I been doing?" SERIOUSLY! What HAVE I been doing?
So I rolled down the window and I looked her in the eye
Oh, how many times have I just passed her by?
I gave her some money then I drove on through I gave to a homeless man for the first time in a VERY long time the other day. It was only $2 (all I had in my purse) but to him, it made a difference.
And my own little world reached population two Making progress.
What if there's a bigger picture?
What if I'm missing out?
What if there's a greater purpose?
I could be living right now
Outside my own little world, ooh, my own little world, ooh
Father, break my heart for what breaks Yours Lord, I know you have already done this, but my heart has hardened. Break it! I'm SO ready.
Give me open hands and open doors
Put Your light in my eyes and let me see He made the lame walk and the dumb talk
And He opened blinded eyes to see- I've been blind, help me see!!!
That my own little world is not about me
What if there's a bigger picture?
What if I'm missing out?
What if there's a greater purpose?
That I could be living right now
I don't wanna miss what matters This scares me! I don't want to reach the end of my life and realize that I have done nothing but live for myself.
I wanna be reaching out I've known this since 2005.
Show me the greater purpose Show me where I belong.
So I can start living right now I don't want to waste another minute!
Outside my own little world, my own little world, my own little world
This song is everything I believe. It is powerful, moving, and so inspiring. It has been several years since I have been on a mission trip. I think that has caused my selfishness. I haven't experienced the poverty, I haven't LIVED it. I've been doing a lot of soul searching, trying to figure out where the Lord is leading us next. It's all so confusing. I know I am meant to help and minister to people...just not sure where. I know that I am meant to change lives, to make a difference. There can be no other explanation for my compassion for the people of Latin America and the gift of Spanish that I have been blessed with.
The Vineyard always talks about praying for people and the importance of it. Well, nothing scares me more. I am so afraid that people will judge me if I ask if I can pray for them. Plus, I am not comfortable praying aloud with my own family- Something I am really trying to work on. Just recently, Evan and I were on a plane home from Chicago to Champaign. We were stuck on the runway in Chicago for about 45 minutes because of some storms. We started chatting with the girl in front of us and she told us that she was on her way home from her physical for bone marrow donation. She was about to go through an excruciating operation to hopefully save the life of a 6 year old stranger. How AWESOME! And then I heard it..."Ask to pray for her." WHATTTTTTTT?!?!?!? Who just said that?! I look at Evan and he DEFINITELY had not said it...And then I heard it again, "Michala, ask her if you can pray for her and her surgery." "God?! Is that you? I can't do that. I'm not comfortable with that. She will think I am crazy!!!" Well, I'm sad to say that I denied God that day and did not pray for the girl. I think about this quite a bit and wonder how it might have been different, had I listened. I will never know, but I DO know that from now on, when God tells me to pray, I will. If they think I am crazy, they will say "no thanks!" I don't want to care what people think of me anymore. I want to care what ONE person thinks. No one else matters. As long as I am pleasing to him, what else is there?
This blog post did not turn out how I thought it would but it's pretty long already so....I will save the rest for another day. A little teaser-
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| Where my heart longs to be and what it longs to do |
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